Bollywood or Bust - Verse

In the Great Land they called Bollywood,
In all earnestness, it must be understood
A career is considered rather brief
Which one must make the most of, to avoid grief
For it comes and goes with the virtues of youth
And requires a bit of the rough and uncouth.

Some have muscles, some have faces
Some the curves that pass through phases
Money and fame wander one's way
But one works hard to keep rivals at bay
So what does it entail, you may well ask
For a man or woman to be equal to their task

The right calories and the right connections
Workouts in the gym and facial corrections
Finding the right producer and director to boot
A suitable script and the right mood to shoot
(Above all this lies the casting couch
Rumoured, not proved, but surely worth an 'ouch!')

You might now ask, what good is this act
When its off-screen troubles are a matter of fact
That's why I say, these actors do their part
On screen they do bare more than their heart
Cleavages and curves, navels and calves
abdomens and chests, butts in halves

Salman shed his shirt, Shah Rukh's abs were trendy
Ranbir did the towel, John showed the undie
Amir showed eight, which Akshay had to match
In a twinkling moment, his fly was off the latch
(What's a poor man to do, his Beijing did bomb
Despite all that jumping and dancing with aplomb).

Look at dear Shilpa, the one who got THAT kiss
Survived the Big Brother, but still something is amiss
Her career was in the doldrums, and then in the tundras
Poor thing is now in the arms of the Kundras
Ash and Priyanka, and that hoity-toity Sush
Won over the planet, but Freida's made them blush!

So fickle is this game, they call the world of glam
Fifteen minutes of fame, much hype, much sham
It thus pays to work hard and earn some fast bucks
(or else get stuck with a rich spouse, even if that sucks)
For our heart-throb males, with or without abs
Its gotta be some modeling or a trip to the rehabs


So they bare their beautous bodies before they turn to Stardust
They must go for the jugular: It's Bollywood or bust!

(c) N. Madhavan, 2009