When Richard Gere necks Shilpa Shetty (verse

It must be said, with a sense of alarm
Our antique culture has befell some harm
Just when we thought our Bollywood babe
survived Big Brother to get some raves
Here she bends back, in a manner of speaking
seeming to enjoy, despite the squeaking,
the necking of a heart-throb from Beverly Hills
a Buddhist who must’ve seen many a soft hill.
Alas! Fie! Such insult upon our nation!
Where three-letter fun is usually in ration
So rare ,so urgent, its mixed with botheration
Doing little but raise one’s population!

How can a man, howsoever suave
Daring on stage, as he indeed must have
bend down to conquer a sweetly neck
heaping an insult with a naughty peck
upon this ancient Land of Wonders,
its traditions now torn asunder.

Oh, what outrage! Oh, what blunder!
In the name of Indra, we must now thunder!
(Tis a different matter that Indra’s eyes roved
Our myths do tell that he pushed and shoved!)
We must gather now, to protest such acts
Now is not the time for myths or facts
We may have written a sagely Kama Sutra
Alas, its ways lost on the land’s putras
(Such things, you see, are just for bookshops
Average Indians are now bedroom flops
A survey reveals they come to fast
In street protests they prefer to have their blasts
Oh such misery has destiny cast
Upon this nation of a myriad castes!)


So Mr. Gere, we appreciate your apology
For responding kindly to our mind’s ecology
which blends some morals with saintly ideology
In matters simple as on-stage biology
Now, add Dr. Freud to your Buddhist light
You may just find some unseemly insight
Dunno if it’s truth or a plain old fallacy
Our morals come laced with some jealousy.

© N. Madhavan, 2007